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There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Chuck Norris invented water.

Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer...
...sadly he never cries....

When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat. The weights do.

Chuck Norris KNOWS Victoria's secret.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

If you want a list of Chuck Norri's enemies, just check the extinct species list.

Chuck Norris calender goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris email adress is Yahoo@chucknorris.com.

Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.

Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.

When Chuck Norris falls out of a boat, he doesnt get wet.
The water gets Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris does a push up he does not push up, he pushes the world down.

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Chuck Norris went to the virgin islands. now they are pregnant.

Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides it.

Chuck norris counted to infinite. Twice.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris

God wanted 10 days to build the world, Chuck Norris gave him 6.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song

Chuck Norris doesn't wear boots. His feet are made of boot material.

Chuck Norris can get a Black-Jack with one card.

People believe in God. God believe in Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Chuck Norris can read Braille with his scrotum.

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom.
Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.